Okay, so my mom is a real babe… that’s cool ‘cuz I know she’s got my genes and, I must say, she’s pleasant to look at even when I’m not having a meal. But frankly, between you, me and the bedpost, I’m thinking she’s got the jealousy thing happening. I mean, why else would she buff up her mouth bones and tart up her cheeks then dress me up with this goofy bonnet thing?
Imagine my horror when, just as the flash goes off, I spot myself in the mirror. Isn’t this child abuse? Hello 911? I need the fashion police, stat!